75. get real

I started typing another post for tonight, but three sentences in, it stalled out completely and I couldn’t find a thought thread. When this happens, I’m learning to just listen, and instead of fighting it, chuck the concept entirely and just let my fingers start flowing. 

Instead of trying to come up with something catchy, cute, or clever, I just need to get real. 

The topic I was going to write about was basically just bitching about something anyway. You know? Yeah, I’ll tell you, because sometimes we just need to be a little catty and talk some shit. 

Am I the only one sick of the marketing strategy: “Hurry, because the price will triple tomorrow?!”

Lately I’ve been noticing this in my inbox often - from women I otherwise like and respect, by the way - and it just rubs me the wrong way. Like, to the point that I just don’t trust that person or want to buy from them. 

Since I’ve been deep in shadow work lately, I’m curious what it is about this strategy of urgency that seems to get my goat. Wait, before analyzing myself, let me dump why it bugs me so much. 

I have the opinion that the price of something should reflect the value of the offer. Obviously, this is ultimately subjective, but I think there’s a way to determine rates or cost that takes into consideration that makes it fair, equitable, and appropriate. If it’s a service, this will factor in the provider’s experience and years in business, education and credentials, transformational benefit and actual client results, their cost of living, and the market value of the service. If it’s a product, it will look at the cost of goods sold, advertising and marketing costs, distribution, comparative market analysis, positioning, etc.

This isn’t an economics lecture, but I recently opened and read one of these emails, in which the author (a business coach for women entrepreneurs) was talking about how fun it feels to be doubling her rates every week, just because she can. 

On one hand, sure. More power to you. I am all for self-authority, confidence, and boldly asserting the value of your services when you know you provide huge benefits. 

But. But but but. What is happening that if I sign with you today, it costs $3,000 - but next week it’s $6,000, and the following week it’s $12,000? When I read this, I’m like… why? Is it an experiment and exploration of positioning yourself as a luxury service? Is it simply to create the FOMO that will make anyone insecure enough (who is thinking about working with you) get off the fence now, for fear that they’ll miss the chance? 

I see people do this all the time with courses and smaller offers, and in one sense, I get it. I mean, I understand the sales psychology behind it. But it’s openly, brazenly manipulative and disclosing that the rates for your product or service are totally arbitrary. As a consumer, client, customer, I feel like... “Ew, David.” 

I think I’m just really over any approach that preys on fear or insecurity. Like, enough. We have enough of that in the world, and while they can be powerful motivators, they aren’t the sustainable kind - I know from direct experience. 

I just took a big breath and sighed it out, because it doesn’t really matter. It doesn’t have anything to do with me. If there is a shadow, it has to do with a distortion, an envy rooted in the assumption that a) this strategy is working for them and making them gobs of money; b) if I were to use that approach I’d be rolling in dough, too; and c) I’m not using that approach because I have too much integrity and virtue. 

But, who cares? Like, why am I still looking at what anyone else is doing, anyway? Why am I making up stories about other people’s lives that enable me to judge them, and in so doing, inflate my own ego and feel better about myself? 

Really, what a waste of time. 

Get real. I’m only even writing about this because I probably don’t want to think or open deeper to what’s going on in my own world. 

Nothing bad, just exhaustion. Tanner has a fever now, after River finally got better (a week of the flu). So we’re heading in for round 2, and I’m praying and hoping to stay well, because we have Brent’s mom and sister coming to visit for a week, then I leave for a weeklong trip to the states for school. 

Nothing exciting, just routine. I’m working on aggressively paying off some personal debt, because with the way the student loan situation is looking, it’s potentially gonna get ugly, and I don’t really want to think about the stack of debt I have from completing grad school - that’s gonna be out of deferment in less than a year. 

Nothing deep, just surface level. One of those days, end of those weeks, where I haven’t quite crossed everything off my to do list; every single day things are getting carried over to the next, and all I can do is surrender, and keep a positive attitude, because there’s no sense in getting stressed out over it. 

Nothing sexy, just humdrum. My period ended, but we’ll have visitors for the next week, plus sick kids, plus all of the above mentioned, so we’re back into just-keep-going-mode. 

It’s easier to point the fingers at others and find things to think about, judge and criticize, when I don’t want to slow down and just sit for a minute with what’s alive for me. 

People are gonna do what they’re gonna do. I’m not here to police the coaching industry, or cut other women down for growing through their girl-boss-gladiator days. Good for them, and also, whatever. 

The truth is, I’m tired, uninspired, and didn’t have a major flash of inspiration tonight, so my brain defaulted to the easiest topic - gossip. It’s like that quote from Eleanor Roosevelt: “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”

Welp, me and my currently small mind are going to just let this be messy, unfiltered, boring and a little bit snarky. Because, if I’m really honest, sometimes that’s me, too. 

Whaddya say? We’ll try again tomorrow?