70. ask for help

I’m taking stock of seventy days of showing up, and choosing to pat myself on the back for what we’ve accomplished so far here in the Antisocial Social Club. This post is my halfway point check in for quarter one of the ASC project, which is not just a creative writing and communication exploration, but also a way for me to build viable pathways for lead generation for my work that are not social media. 

Month one (January), I focused on stepping away from social media completely and committing to this daily practice of showing up to the page, writing for the heart and art of it, and practicing a new way of letting my creativity flow. On the back end and business side of this endeavor, I reworked my content pillars to clarify for myself - and the clients I serve - what I’m all about. 

What are those pillars? I’m so glad you asked! I support clients in the following areas, which often merge together and overlap in a holistic approach to transformation, healing, and soul embodiment:

• Spiritual Business Coaching

• Soul Centered Astrology Guidance

• Sacred Archetypal Feminine Mentorship

• Soul Journey Retreats & Mushroom Work

Month two (February), I turned my attention to my website SEO, because it’s my intention to become much more searchable via Google, and less reliant on clients finding me on social media. I hired two different support people: one to audit my website copy and provide me with SEO keywords and suggestions for how to edit and format my website pages, and the other to take my writing and visual content and create social media posts for me (without me ever actually going to Instagram). 

I’m still waiting on the SEO audit results, but learned a lot in the process so far. Mainly that I’m a control freak and don’t love other people’s ideas… but also some helpful technical aspects of search engine optimization which will benefit my own site and also equip me to better serve clients in this area. When the final results are in (hopefully this week), I’ll be able to go through my website and make revisions to get me to rank page one for “Spiritual Business Coaching” - though I still don’t love that term (I am learning where I need to surrender to the way the machines work instead of trying to fight with them). 

The other hire has been a god-send. Christelle, the angel who is doing my social media integration, is an absolute dream to work with. I never realized how helpful it would be for my perfectionism paralysis to just have someone else combine my words and visuals so that I don’t get lost in trying to make them conform to some illusory ideal of excellence. I’m still not actually on Instagram, but it feels good to know that in some small way, my messages are continuing to arrive there, leaving a little trail of breadcrumbs to my digital witch hut here at the edge of the forest. 

We’re heading now towards month 3 (March) in just a few days, and I’m gearing myself up to do something a little more uncomfortable than revise my content pillars or find searchable keywords. 

I’m getting ready to…  (gulp)... ask for help. 

When I coach emerging entrepreneurs, one of the first marketing strategies I teach is to talk to the people around you and ask for help from the people who love you. So simple, right?! 

Yet for some reason, this is often one of the harder tasks for my clients to undertake. Often, as people who’ve been conditioned to give care, nurture, provide for, and help others, it’s decidedly sticky, awkward, or uncomfortable to reach out and ask people to support us in return. 

But the thing is, the people who love us generally want to support us - they just need to be reminded and given the opportunity. Also, our funny little self centered human brains tend to think people know what we’re up to because we mentioned it to them in passing once or twice, or we posted about it on the internet, but most people aren’t paying that close of attention to what you’re doing and they might need a refresher on what your services are, and how they can get involved, refer you business, or work with you themselves. 

So I’m hyping myself up for module 3 of my Antisocial Business Project, which is tapping into my sphere of influence, core network, and reaching out for personal referrals. This is one of my favorite things to do during Mercury Retrograde (coming up March 15 - April 7), as it’s a great time to reach out and reconnect with relationships from the past. 

So here’s my road map for… 

Month 3: Personal Referrals & Asking for Help

Key Objective: Get comfortable being uncomfortable and talking about your work so you can LET PEOPLE HELP YOU! 

Week 1. Identify primary conversion goal for personal referrals

First, write an updated tiny bio (<500 words) that captures the heart of who you are, what your work is, and the primary mission of your work or business. 

Second, simplify a short benefits statement for your product or service. 

• “I help (people) do (result) with (service or product)”

• “My business is about providing (service or product) to (people) so they can (result)”

• “Our (product or services) is for (people) who need (result)”

Third, clarify what your goal is for personal referrals. For me, in March, it’s to bring on 2-3 new coaching clients and make personal connections for my upcoming Soul Work Council project - so, I mostly want to connect with women leaders and entrepreneurs (creative, mystical, neurodivergent ones in the helping, healing, artistic professions especially) who are aiming for a new level in their soul work and want partnership or community / peer based support. 

Week 2. Identify personal sphere of influence

First, map your sphere of influence; this includes your family, extended family, friends (people who have your number in their phone), neighbors, acquaintances & community members (folks from church, yoga studio, kids school), and potentially an email list or social media community (but these are an afterthought). 

Second, brainstorm your gossip bio - this is how you think others might describe you, or how you’d like them to. Bonus points if you ask 2-5 people who know you really well to tell you in 1-3 sentences what they think you do for work, or what your product or service is. This can help you simplify how you describe your own work, which makes it easier to ask for referrals. 

Week 3. Map your ‘ask and offer’ approach 

First, draft the copy - in your own voice, using regular words - for an email or text message to your people. Keep it simple and four-fold: reconnect, refresh, request & reciprocate. 

1. Reconnect with them on a personal level. 

2. Refresh them on what you’re up to and what’s new in your work. 

3. Request clearly the referral you’re asking for. 

4. Reciprocate with an offer to help them out or do a favor when they need it!

With your referral request, it’s helpful to keep it related to one main product, service or offer, and define your goal, objective and deadline. This might sound like: 

“This month I’m focused on inviting 2 new aligned clients into my work, and since you know firsthand what I’m about, I am asking if you will share my work with your sphere of influence between now and date / end of week / end of month.”

You can also offer 1-2 other ways they can help if they don’t have a referral (post to social media and / or write a review or testimonial are great go-to’s). 

Week 4. Reach out and ask for help

This is the ‘doing’ part. If you’re hesitant, break it into groups of people and tackle one a day (Monday - family, Tuesday - extended fam, Wednesday - friends, Thursday - neighbors, Friday - community members, Saturday - social channels)... 

Or just tell yourself you’ll reach out to 5 people a day for 5 days, and then DO IT. 

Celebrate every successful ask, without attachment to the return. 

***

I decided to write on this today because I need a little cheerleading to get myself back on track with the underlying motivation for the Antisocial Social Club. I want to remind myself that this isn’t just about stepping away from the noise of social media, but about consciously building other pathways for growth and connection. 

Want some cheerleading?

On that note, I’d love to know if you’re also in the process of working on a new endeavor, refreshing an old one, or getting outside of your comfort zone to make new connections or ask for help. 

If you are, first of all, I’m really proud of you, and I know how hard it can be to do alone!

Wanna Hang Out?

Secondly, I’m curious if we want to get together in March for the first Antisocial Social Club gathering - to connect, share what we’re up to, and maybe (just maybe) ask for help?

Saturday, March 22 at 10am PT / 1pm ET / 5pm WET, I’ll open a space for us to gather, connect, and share what we’re working on. As in the spirit of ASC, no marketing, just heart and art - and heartfelt asks for help. Think of this as connection, collaboration, creativity and cooperation. Use this link to pop it onto your calendar and we’ll celebrate the start of spring together in true antisocial style: like cute little hermits, from our little computer boxes, in our pajamas.