15. do it now
I was 25 when I attended my first 200 hour yoga teacher training at the Sivananda ashram in Grass Valley, California.
At the time, it was the only yoga I really knew, a lineage of classical hatha I’d stumbled upon at 16, when I signed up for classes through the local community college, thinking it would be an easy way to get some college credits and a hot bod at the same time. Two birds, one stone, that kind of thing.
When I walked into my first class, in the ballroom of the local Howard Johnson hotel, I realized this wasn’t the scene I expected. Instead of stretchy pants and long lean bodies, I found a rag tag assortment of all kinds of people, and a middle aged woman in baggy white cotton pants and a faded yellow t-shirt sitting in front of the group, burning incense next to photos of some old Indian dudes.
There was no music playing. No mirrors. Just us, some stinky old carpet, and 2.5 hours twice a week of classical yoga postures, breathing, and meditation.
Skeptical but committed (because I’d signed up for the whole semester), I kept coming back to this class. Towards the end of the semester, I’d fallen deeply in love with the practice, but still thought the teacher was kind of a weirdo and a bit cultish. One day she told us her teacher, a woman named Swami Sitaramananda, would be coming to give us a lecture on the 5 points of yoga.
On the day of her visit, we trickled into the class to find a small Vietnamese woman with a shaved head wearing orange robes and sitting perfectly still at the front of the class. She had an air of peaceful authority, a strong accent and a funny laugh. At the end of the lecture that night, after hearing about proper diet - exercise - breathing - thinking - meditation, I decided the yogic path was a lot of work, and figured next time I’d find the studio with the bumping music and spandex-clad hotties.
But as fate would have it, nine years later I was sitting in the great hall of the ashram, clad in baggy white pants and a yellow t-shirt, chanting mantra at 6:30am. When we finished the last round of devotional prayers, the small bald headed Vietnamese woman sitting on the stage began to lecture on karma yoga and right action by singing a funny little song.
Karma Yoga is the yoga of action, of doing what is right and necessary, doing one’s best, and detaching from the results - giving the fruit to the Self / to God.
On this particular day, she was speaking about the resistance of the mind towards doing what is good for us, what is necessary, what is the next right thing, and how the mind tends to create ways to procrastinate and avoid doing one’s duty.
She said when this happened for her, she sang a little song to the tune of Kali Ma; it went like this:
Do it now, do it now, do it no-ow, do it now
Do it noooooooooow, do it no - ow - ow
Do it no- owwwwwwwwww
Do it now - ow - ow
After singing, she laughed a funny little chuckle and then said, “that is all. Go now.”
My karma yoga (daily selfless service) during that training was cleaning bathrooms one week, harvesting vegetables another, and sweeping the great hall the third week.
As I worked, I found Swami Sita’s song stuck in my head, spurring me on through a bad attitude and willful resistance.
It’s been 14 years since that training, but I have held onto this song, and this wisdom: when there is something you need to do, or when you are ready for the next right thing, but you are hesitating or procrastinating, you might try this:
Do it now.
Rip off the bandaid.
Dive on in.
Leap and the net will appear.
Just. Fucking. Do. It.
Anyway, I deleted my apps yesterday and while I am not sure about a year without a phone, I’m channeling Swamiji and going for 30 days. My goal is to only use my phone for calls and WhatsApp, and do all other tasks I would normally grab my phone for on my computer.
There’s no other grand goal with this except to explore why I am so resistant to letting the apps go.
Just to observe what fills the space without them.
Just to notice what my hands do when they fumble for automatic scrolling.
Just to do it now, and see what happens.
On this Capricorn new moon, the first since 2008 that is free of Pluto in Capricorns shadow, I am orienting towards the big picture, the long term, the legacy I aim to architect for my life.
It starts (and maybe ends) with being a woman who listens to Spirit when they speak, and trusts the voice that’s never led me astray.
So I’m off tonight and singing… (Have a listen here for the melody and sing it to yourself if you like-
Do it now, do it now, do it no-ow, do it now
Do it noooooooooow, do it no - ow - ow
Do it no- owwwwwwwwww
Do it now - ow - ow
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