80. underworld (it's okay)

Imagine my voice arriving to you with an otherworldly timber, a vibratory essence of gravitas, heavy with meaning and mystery…

as if it’s echoing against the walls of a subterranean cavern, merging with the sounds of water droplets; cold shivers dancing with flickering firelight. 

HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIIIIIIII-IIIDE.

Hello, from way down here in the Underworld. 

Maybe it’s only Purgatory, not a lasting death, but who knows how long death seems to the dead, before we re-vivify ourselves and live to walk in the world again?

I didn’t write yesterday. I couldn’t, actually. Because I wasn’t awake, at all, all day, for nearly 2 days actually. I spent over 36 hours in the fever realms, paralyzed by severe body pains, unable to eat or drink, unable to do anything except curl up in my bed and trust the process. 

It’s okay. 

It’s okay that you didn’t write yesterday, except for whatever strange tales you wove in a fever dream. 

It’s okay that you cancelled all meetings for this week by sending unhinged, confused, delirium-induced messages to clients and colleagues. 

It’s okay that you’re behind on your homework for school - like, three weeks behind on discussion posts and feeling overwhelmed by the backlog. 

It’s okay that you went outside to get some sun today, fell asleep in the grass for 3 hours, and found that to be the most delightful part of your week thus far. 

It’s okay that you’re doubting all your future plans at the moment, unsure about commitments as near as next week, and woefully uncertain about the general “future” (gestures to everything) shared by humanity.

It’s okay that you’re feeling hopeless and defeated - it’s probably because food tastes disgusting and you’re generally a sad panda when you don’t eat (sad panda or angry tiger, no in-between). 

It’s okay that you are only writing this out of a sense of obligation, but let’s call it duty and devotion instead. 

It’s okay that you’re honest about it, because that’s all any of us want anyway, just someone to show up with, and tell the truth. 

We’ll just linger down here in the Underworld a while, shedding skins, waiting for another eventual rebirth. 

It’s okay. If you're down here too, holler. If you're on the other side, give me a shout or a prayer to help guide my way up?